By now most people have read the 23 Things To Do Instead of Getting Engaged Before You’re 23. Now I wasn’t going to do a post on it because I don’t like to give people like the author any attention, but I thought I’d address her list briefly. I fully believe that everyone has the right to their own opinion and I respect that.But her close-mindedness is astonishing and who is she to decide what age it is appropriate for people to marry? She sounds like a immature 23 year old who has no idea what she wants to do with her life, not a likely candidate for giving marital advice. I know marrying young isn’t for everyone, but it’s a fairytale for others.
Onto her list and my response:
Please enjoy these 23 things to do instead of getting engaged before you’re 23.
1. Get a passport. I don’t have a passport. I haven’t done much traveling. But the only traveling I’ve done is with my fiance and I couldn’t think of anyone else I’d rather visit and explore new places with!
2. Find your “thing.” I’ve found my “thing” but I hope to find another “thing” and another one after that, all throughout my life.
3. Make out with a stranger. This isn’t my “thing”. I’m also not sure how making out with someone you don’t know will help your future marriage last.
4. Adopt a pet. Done. My doggie 🙂
5. Start a band. Again, not my “thing”. Although I think I had that aspiration in the 6th grade.
6. Make a cake. Make a second cake. Have your cake and eat it too. Done, done, and done. Also, if you’re a 23 year old woman and have never made a cake then maybe you aren’t ready for marriage.
7. Get a tattoo. It’s more permanent than a marriage. I’ve thought about getting a tattoo, but have decided against it. I may change my mind in the future, who knows. I mean think of all those older woman who regret the tattoo they foolishly went out and got at 18.
8. Explore a new religion. No thanks. I am a Christian, and choose not to explore another religion.
9. Start a small business. I helped my fiance start his own business. I help him out and take care of all the paperwork & office work.
10. Cut your hair. I’ve cut my hair and will continue to get it cut. I’ll change the style when I feel like it.
11. Date two people at once and see how long it takes to blow up in your face. Definitely not my “thing”. And I really don’t see how being unfaithful is a good prerequisite for marriage…
12. Build something with your hands. I’ve built many things by hand. Projects, education, relationships. It takes dedication and hardwork.
13. Accomplish a Pinterest project. Who hasn’t done something off Pinterest?
14. Join the Peace Corps. Not my “thing” again, dang! I’m a nurse, I get to help people that way.
15. Disappoint your parents. I have, everyone does. Usually long before age 23. You should probably stop trying to disappoint your parents when you’re an adult…
16. Watch GIRLS, over and over again. I don’t know what GIRLS is. I would Google it but I’m scared.
17. Eat a jar of Nutella in one sitting. I don’t like Nutella, but there are a lot of other things I could eat a whole jar of. Like homemade pickles :).
18. Make strangers feel uncomfortable in public places. This has happened before and it’ll happen again.
19. Sign up for CrossFit. I haven’t signed up for any fitness program like this. I probably should but I don’t see how this changes my ability to be a wife and Ican definitely still sign up after the age of 23!
20. Hangout naked in front of a window. Um, no thanks. Again, how does this make you ready for marriage?
21. Write your feelings down in a blog. I have a blog. Started it about 8 months ago.
22. Be selfish. Done. I’m human, it just happens.
23. Come with me to the Philippines for Chinese New Year. I would rather shovel my drive way. And it’s a loooong drive way. …because at the end of the day, I just gotta wander onwards. Wishing everyone whiskey and wanderlust during the holidays.
Yes, because I wish people whiskey during the holiday season. But again just evidence that she’s still a lost, scared little girl inside.
The author hasn’t been married, she hasn’t had a failed marriage, so how can she give advice on what to do before your engagement/marriage to prevent divorce? She even stated she’s never had a serious boyfriend, so why is she giving relationship advice at all? She makes it sound like your life ends after marriage, it will change yes but why would marriage all of a sudden hold you back? Children yes, marriage not as much. But you know as she states she’s experienced so much more than other 22 years old…because apparently she baked a cake, got a hair cut, and stood naked in front of a window – so she must know what she’s talking about. Sounds like the only inexperienced one here is her. I will however agree with this: “But WANT and NEED are two entirely different things. I NEED to develop MY dreams and MYSELF before I can truly be the type of woman you WANT to marry”. She needs much more time to mature BUT you can find yourself before age 23, you can be ready to be engaged or married by 23. I am 22 years old and recently engaged. We’re adults, we’re college graduates, we own a house, we own our vehicles, we love each other; why not get married?
I don’t think there is anything wrong with marrying young OR waiting. How do you even define ‘marrying young’ as long as you’re both adults? Marrying at 16 or 18 would be young. If you’re 23 and marrying because you want a wedding, or to be a bride, to wear a dress, for the attention then you shouldn’t, it won’t work. But it won’t work out at 33, or 43, or ever. That’s not what a marriage should be built on. As long as you are in a faithful, loving relationship – why wait?
“When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”